Saturday, September 27, 2008

20-Something Reasons to Live at Home

Here's another good article I read through a link on IDD...

I think it's a good view of the 'living at home' issue.

Also I thought the point she made about living with family keeps you from living self centeredly is very true.

20-Something Reasons to Live at Home
by Rachel Starr Thomson

"So Rachel," my new friend said, joking in that not-so-subtle way that meant she wasn't joking at all. "Want to move out and get an apartment with me next fall?"
I chuckled slightly and said, "Nope. I'm pretty happy at home."
"But you could be so independent!" she insisted. "Living on your own is so great. You'd have your own space; the ability to do whatever you want; your own bills to pay. It really makes an adult of you."
I stuck to my guns. When she got to know me a little better, my friend changed her mind. Instead of asking me to move out, she expressed a desire to live close to my family. She saw something in our home that she wanted to tap into.
I'm newly 25 and still living at home. I'm the oldest of 12 kids. The other young adults in the family — ages 23, 22, 20, and nearly 18 — are also at home. We're not here because our parents are control freaks (they're not). We're not here because we're scared of the real world, lack ambition, or just can't make it out there. Rather, we've discovered that living at home is an excellent way to lay a foundation for the rest of our lives. We're doing our best to take advantage of it.
Over the years, I've realized five key benefits of living at home as a young adult — whether with my own family or with another. Family life offers many blessings for the stay-at-home single adult, provided that we use this stage to actively and responsibly build a future. Living at home is especially helpful for single women, but guys can benefit from it as well.

Recently, a good friend of mine moved out of the apartment she'd been sharing with her mother into a new one with a roommate. After a few months, the roommate moved home to England, and my friend was on her own.
Before she'd been in that apartment a year, she was forced to move again. This time, she decided to move in with an older couple who had just sent their daughter off to university in Toronto. They had two empty bedrooms and hearts that were very willing to take in another "daughter."
Shortly after she made this decision, she and I had an interesting conversation. She expressed how much she had enjoyed having her way — her tea and a book before bed, her quiet, her music, her habits and preferences. I pointed out that this wasn't necessarily a good thing. In just a few months, my friend was losing her flexibility and ability to flow with others. We both saw that the coming change was the best thing for her.
After she moved back into a family home, the change in her was remarkable. In no time, she was back to her old self — more cheerful, flexible and fun to be around.
Living alone, or even with other singles, promotes independence in ways that are not always good. In practice, "independence" often translates to "self-centeredness." This is bad training for life. It's bad training for marriage especially, when we'll need to deal with the intrusions of others, look out for them, and handle changing circumstances with grace.
Living at home has provided me with excellent training for the future. Much of this training comes disguised as annoyance and inconvenience, but it truly is a blessing! It keeps me pliable, so I'm not going to shatter if life drops me into a hard situation. When we embrace family life and keep ourselves open to correction and change, life at home will prepare us to be happy, others-centered people.

In her article "Single Female Seeking Home Ownership, Part 1," Candace Watters pointed out that living with a family affords great protection to single women. She wrote that in the past, parents "understood that their daughters needed protection from men who would certainly take liberties if given the opportunity that living alone provides."
The same friend who asked me to get an apartment with her has often expressed feelings of intense insecurity and fear as a single woman living on her own. Many women, including students whose living arrangements aren't exactly ideal, go home every night worrying about who might hiding in the alley. Living with my family gives me a straightforward physical protection that I don't take for granted! I go home to a house that's lit up and very populated. My father is usually in the dining room. Someone is always near the phone. If I don't come home when I'm supposed to, somebody knows it.
This defensive force extends to the well-meaning as well as the unscrupulous. It goes beyond just making sure no one's following me home to helping me make wise choices. As Candace wrote, "When you don't have parents or parental figures limiting the time you spend with your sweetheart (as well as supervising how you spend that time), you're likely to spend too much time with too little (commitment) in return."
When it comes to finding a mate, both guys and girls can benefit from the community protection of a family home. I may be blinded by some guy's charm, but my father isn't likely to be. My brothers may flip over a vain beauty, but my mother will see right through her. Because we care about each other and know one another well, my family provides amazing accountability and protection in this area. In fact, the unworthy may not even bother to approach a girl who is still at home with an involved father and an aware mother.
The family you rely on for protection doesn't have to be your own. I encourage single girls who are far from home or who don't have intact, involved families of their own to explore the possibility of living with a Christian family. The accountability and physical protection involved are huge benefits. Single guys can also benefit from connecting with families that will help keep them grounded, responsible, and aware of their own future families.
As with anything, protection is enhanced or embattled depending on our own attitudes. If we're foolish or unwilling to be held accountable, we will severely limit the blessing of protection in our lives. Simply being at home is good; deliberately working with home's protective forces is even better!

When she first brought up the subject of getting an apartment, my friend pointed out that living away from home would give me "my own bills to pay" and help me mature financially. However, living at home has allowed me far more financial freedom and flexibility than I could possibly have on my own.
A few years ago, I decided to take the road less traveled and become a freelance editor and writer. I knew it would take me a while to build up my clientele to the point where I could become self-supporting, but that was OK. Because I lived at home, I was free from pressure, debt, and the need to work several jobs while overloading on stress.
Once again, this benefit is best experienced when we actively use it to build for the future. I'm not advocating mooching off your parents! When I started editing, I didn't have a computer. I spend several hours every day working on my dad's dinosaur of a machine, tucked away in a decrepit hole in the basement. (Centipedes kept crawling out of cracks in the wall. Seriously.) Within a few months, I had earned enough to buy myself a laptop and move my workspace into my own room, with a lot more sunshine and a lot fewer centipedes.
When I started freelancing, I gave my parents a small percentage of my earnings. Now, I voluntarily pay them as much as I would to live on my own. I also have a credit card and several monthly financial commitments. By next summer I will have saved enough to buy a minivan outright (my prime choice for a first vehicle, as I hope to regularly cart people around!) — no car payments.
If I had moved out when I turned 18 or 21, I would not have reached this level of freedom. I would have been forced into doing work that had nothing to do with my future career direction just so I could pay the bills. To get to that work, a car would have been necessary — and since it takes a while to save enough to buy such a thing, I would have needed a loan.
This pattern has extended to the rest of my finances as well. I'm deliberately using my time at home to build habits and enter commitments that allow me to function on an adult level while avoiding debt and undue financial pressure.
Those who pursue higher education can also benefit from living at home. Because the cost of living can be so much lower when you share a home with parents and siblings, students can pay off school debts faster, find more time to concentrate on study, and even eat healthy, normal meals!
Depending on someone else to provide while we take an instant-gratification approach to money is a terrible way to build a future. However, living at home does not equal mooching unless we let it. It can give us the freedom and flexibility to lay foundations and start building on them without falling into the financial traps that bog down so many around us.

Recently, I came home from an evening out. Laughter greeted my ears as I pushed the door open. Three of my younger siblings were sitting around the kitchen table, joking and teasing each other. Dad was playing music at his computer, while Mom and "the big girls" were drinking tea in the living room.
The older I get, the more I thank God for the community of family. At 25, I still have people who make hot meals and bring me tea and cookies. I can come in from a long day and be asked how my day was, if my driving evaluation went well, or if I've heard back from that freelance job yet. I also have the opportunity to be actively involved in the lives of others: asking questions, spending time together, doing small acts of service, and working toward common goals.
Community is not limited to my family alone. We've drawn a circle of friends and extended family around us. There's something powerful about being with people who care about the same things you do, who are excited when your cousin's going to have a baby, who cry when your friend's mother dies. Proverbs 27:10 says, "Do not forsake your friend and your father’s friend." Because my siblings and I all live at home, we're able to build cross-generational friendships with deep roots — a community that will always be part of our lives.
Men and women were not designed to live alone. God's first commandment to the human race was "Be fruitful and multiply." By staying at home, we're able to live within the blessings of that multiplication — trading a cold, empty living room at the end of the day for a household full of warmth. This is healthy, good, and right.

Finally, living at home allows me to do what every Christian is called to do: serve. I don't have to fight to preserve my independence, so I can focus on the needs of others. Living at home makes me aware of needs under my own roof, in the lives of friends and relatives, and in the community around me. It also gives me the personal flexibility to meet them. My family provides accountability and prayer when I'm considering a big commitment. With lighter financial pressure than many people my age, I have more ability to give, to take time off work, or even to make a major lifestyle change if I need to.
All Christians are called to service, and no matter where we live, we should look for ways to fulfill that calling. However, a quick perusal of Paul's letters to the early church will reveal that most of his lifestyle instructions related to life within community. Community gives us a context for service and rich resources on which to draw. Living at home is an excellent way to tap into this.
To date, I've lived away from home for only seven months. During that time, I lived with another large Christian family. If the Lord were to lead me away from home again, I would seek out a similar situation.
As Christians, it behooves us to question the independent lifestyle and ask ourselves if that's really where want to go. It's just possible that living at home can move us much more effectively toward our goals than life on our own ever could.

Copyright 2008 Rachel Starr Thomson. All rights reserved. International copyright secured. This article was published on on May 23, 2008

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Why Do We Fight?

"Refusing them would be fatal to all of us...
but to join them...would be unthinkable."
-Capt. Von Trapp

What a position to be in. What a decision to face. The Captain had the fate of his children in his hands. On the one hand was their physical well being....but on the other was their spiritual. What example would he be to them by joining those that were trampling the lives of Jews and special children under their boots? That were following a man who required that they call black, white and to live in the grey area? He was a Patriot and you could not call him a coward....the man had spent years in the service of his country and had Captained submarines when they were still experimental warships. But the country that he had fought for was no more. The name perhaps had been kept but the rules had changed.

You can he did. With just the clothes on his backs, his treasures left to the plunder of the enemy....but his children would grow up knowing right from wrong, with the strengths to make these decisions, and God could welcome him with a "Well done, thou good and faithful servant. Enter thou into the Joy of the Lord."

You can do as the Ten Booms did...they opened their door to any that might knock, and it was a fatal decision...but the decisions gave Corrie a platform that no other suffering could give her. "We will teach them that Love is stronger than Hate."

Monday, September 22, 2008


Well, when you run out of things of interest you borrow others.... :)

First, we have a smart post. It's not paranoid to be aware of things like this, It's responsibilty. I had to close up the Building where I work the other day....It was after dark, it's close to a bar, and there were a lot of people I didn't know there. I wasn't Scared, but I stayed aware of what everyone was doing and where I was.....I know most of us don't leave in big cities. Thanks to Books, Bones, Bricks and Bullets and his sister Olde_fashioned for the list.

Everyone should take 5 minutes to read this. It may save your life or a loved one's life.

Crucial because of recent abductions. In daylight hours, refresh yourself of these things to do in an emergency situation...

This is for you, And for you to share with everyone you know. After reading these 9 crucial tips, forward them to someone you care about.

It never hurts to be careful In this crazy world we live in.

1. Tip from Tae Kwon Do :

The elbow is the strongest point on your body.

If you are close enough to use it, DO!

2. Learned this from a tourist guide.

If a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse,


Toss it away from you...

Chances are that he is more interested in your wallet and/or purse than you, and he will go for the wallet/purse.


3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car, kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy. The driver won't see you, but everybody else will.

This has saved lives.

4. Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping, eating, working, etc., and just sit (doing their checkbook, or making a list, etc.


The predator will be watching you, and this is the perfect opportunity for him to get in on the passenger side, put a gun to your head, and tell you where to go.


If someone is in the car with a gun to your head




Instead gun the engine and speed into anything, wrecking the car. Your air bag will save you. If the person is in the back seat, they will get the worst of it. As soon as the car crashes, bail out and run. It is better than having them find your body in a remote location.

5. A few notes about getting Into your car in a parking lot, or parking garage:

A.) Be aware:

Look around you, look into your car, at the passenger side floor, in the back seat AND under the car.

B.) If you are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the passenger door. Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling them into their vans while the women are attempting to get into their cars.

C.) Look at the car Parked on the driver's side of your vehicle, and the passenger side... If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, you should walk back into the mall, or work, and get a guard/policeman to walk you back out.


(And better paranoid than dead.)

6. ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs. Stairwells are horrible places to be alone And the perfect crime spot. This is especially true at NIGHT!

7. If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS RUN! The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times; and even then, it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ. RUN, Preferably in a zig -zag pattern!

8. As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic.


It may get you raped, or killed.

Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-looking, well educated man, who ALWAYS playe on the sympathies of unsuspecting women. He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked 'for help' into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted his next victim.

9. Another Safety Point:

Someone just told me that her friend heard a crying baby on her porch the night before last, and she called the police because it was late and she thought it was weird. The police told her, "Whatever you do, DO NOT Open the door." The lady then said that it sounded like the baby had crawled near a window, and she was worried that it would crawl to the street and get run over. The policeman said, "We already have a unit on the way, whatever you do, DO NOT open the door." He told her that they think a serial killer has a baby's cry recorded and uses it to coax women out of their homes thinking that someone dropped off a baby. He said they have not verified it, but have had several calls by women saying that they hear baby's cries outside their doors when they're home alone at night.

10. Water scam!

If you wake up in the middle of the night to hear all your taps outside running or what you think is a burst pipe, DO NOT GO OUT TO INVESTIGATE! These people turn on all your outside taps full ball so that you will go out to investigate and then attack.

Stay alert, keep safe, and look out for your neighbors!


One thing that my mom taught me, that I would add to this list, is to carry your car or housekeys as a weapon while you're walking. Place a key between each finger and make a fist, so that it is "spiked" with keys, and if attacked this will make a punch much more painful than a bare woman's hand.

Second, a wishful post.... but I'll just post a link cause Life of a Dreamer says it so well.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

My Thankful Thursday.....

Today I am thankful that God is Good.
So this evening during youth night, (I WAS paying attention, I promise) I was thinking of times that have been a trial to me, but I was also seeing certain things that happened within the larger circumstance that I believe was God's hand in it, protecting me or preparing me or strengthening me.....

I spent my 20th birthday in M_____ this year....Birthdays are special at my house, we all have a meal together, open presents together, watch a movie together...and I treasure those times. Well through different circumstances, for my last five birthdays or so, I haven't been able to have ALL of my family with me. Either they were in M_____ or across the ocean, or I was in Nebraska (Which is a special birthday in my memory :) ) So I'll admit it bothered me, that I couldn't seem to have the perfect birthday that I wanted...selfish of me..I know..Sorry :(

But do you know that my sister, Stephanie has Never had my 'perfect' birthday on her birthday? We're always at a convention so we celebrate just days or sometimes weeks later. One year we had to work hard just to make sure we had it in the same month (Did I mention her birthday's on the 4th?)

So this year..I had no family...and I was missing them and bummed out...but trying not to be. Morning of my birthday dawned bright and clear and I woke up to P____ and her cute baby boy singing happy birthday to me and giving me flowers. Special, huh? And then I walked to the A____'s and the girls gave me a present that my sister Jane sent me in the mail and gave me hugs...wished me happy birthday...Dad and Mom called me and wished me Happy Birthday....Katie, Stepi and Joe did the same....and then I got a bouquet of flowers from my peeps..well it took me all of those happy things to work through my glum and decided that,
First: It was my Birthday, Hurrah! I could be happy.
Second: I never got to celebrate with the M_____ people before! This was special!
Third: It was more than time to get out of my glum and make other people happy :)

So....thank you, God.... the A____'s and I had a wonderful, fun, happy birthday... I got to spend some special time with the girls...I guess the long and short of it, is that I have some really good memories of that morning of my 20th birthday...........
and then the ground dropped out from under my feet.
We were still eating lunch when my cell phone rang. I had been getting happy birthday calls all day so I answered with little trepidation (More on that later) and my Mom tells me that my great-grandma is gone...She's dead, just like that. She had had an appointment the day before and the doctors had said she was in the best of health. This grandma was barely ever ill. She was a spry young lady :) and in the last two years I had gotten to know her a little better, and I was looking forward to talking with her again. It was hard...really. I didn't want to think about it so I cleaned all the floors and bathroom I could find, then I went home and sobbed on the phone to Mom. I wanted to go home...but that didn't work I stayed. I didn't get to say Good-bye. I went home the next weekend, and went to Grandma's house...and it was all messed up. They were boxing things up, throwing things out, cleaning out drawers. -STOP! This is Grandma's House! But at least then I could cry on Mom's shoulder...

Did you know that God even prepared me mentally for losing someone while I was in M_____?
I was preparing myself to spend two months away from my family....and thoughts about 'What would happen if I never saw them again?' spun in my head. Then after I was there, I had a dream, I was in the fields...My hands were dirty...and my cell phone rang...It was Dad..There was something wrong...But he won't tell me what it was till a friend he had called got to me....He didn't want me to be alone when he told me 'the news'...The implications was the my mom was hurt or gone....I was scared so bad I woke myself up day I was in the fields, the dream had bothered me so I stuck my cell phone is my pocket....I was hands were dirty cell phone rang....
....and I heard my beloved Mother's voice telling me "Hello, Pretty Girl!" She just wanted to hear my voice and tell me that she loved me.....

I have to think things through...look at them from every angle...God let me think about losing some one close to me for almost two months before it happened so I could deal with it. A phone call i think is the hardest way to learn something like that. I couldn't see my mother, and she couldn't give me a hug....
But Allie did though.. the rest of the day she kept hugging me and telling me she was sorry that I had lost my grandma. She was such a comfort :)

Today God was opening my eyes and showing me all the ways he had been preparing me to deal with the hard trial I had to go through that week. I thought spending a birthday away from family was bad. It seems so trivial now. Losing a Grandma is ten times worse. But even in that he encouraged me to have a good attitude in the morning and now I have happy memories to treasure of that day, not focus solely on the tragedy that happened.

So I guess I'm just happy tonight....God takes care of me and prepares me...The Lord giveth and the Lord Taketh away....Blessed be his name.
This was supposed to be a happy, encouraging post...I'm not sure quite how it's turned out

The Song that they sang at my Grandma's Funeral:
Come to Jesus By Chris Rice

Friday, September 12, 2008

Pop Quiz!!!

Can you match all the fifty Capitals with the right state???

St. Paul
Jefferson City
Little Rock
Santa Fe
Des Moines
Oklahoma City
Carson City
Salt Lake City
Baton Rouge

New Hampshire
New Jersey
New Mexico
New York
North Carolina
North Dakota
Rhode Island
South Carolina
South Dakota
West Virginia

I'll post the answers in the first comment, so don't peek till you've tried...nd even if you don't get them all right, tell me how many you did.

I got 48 correct..... :)


Thursday, September 11, 2008


It's been 7 years.......

Seven years. So much has happened.

I'm not sure what to write, what to say, to honor this day...

But when you have a friend who is blessed with a writing ability.....

sometimes you have to rely on them.

September Eleventh

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

My back is Wack....

I was told that that would be a good title for this post :)

On Saturday, we had a busy, fun time at the Platteville Dairy Days, and to enjoy it to the most, Joe, Lyds and I did a several carnival rides...well let me clarify...I rode the same ride three times....
hey what can I say I was having fun with my siblings! :p
But in that fun process I managed to put my neck out of joint and strain the muscles in my lower back..I spent most of Sunday in a lot of pain. :(
It was finally feeling better yesterday...but I had a major headache. So I got a chiropractic appointment this morning...and now it's in pain again but I think it's the good kind.

Haveing someone crack your neck is not something I would classify as fun, but if it's the price I have to pay to have a fun time with my precious bro and sis, I'll take the bill.

On a different note, my first day on the job was yesterday....

There is ALOT to learn how to do......I was on overload most of the day till Barb told me that there was a cleaning list that if I could manage it, shoudl be done everyday. Cleaning? Now that's something I CAN do :)

...and now I'm going to finish cleaning my room.... :)

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

I'm Back.......With a boring bang...........maybe...

Remember me? Little bit on the short side, curly girl hair, usually has a nose in a book and doesn't mind cleaning the house.

Well...I'm a bit different now...I think. I'll leave it up to you whether or not I'm different.....

Let's see what's new with me:
Well First thing that popped into my head was I've been spelling my name a bit diferent and it seems as if every one is commenting on it so I thought I should explain it a bite here where everyone could see. Debbie--that's how I've always had my name shortened, but when I was little it bothered me that I had to use to b's in my name.. I thought one ''b'' would get the sound across, but just one "b" with the "ie" on the end looks I left it alone for years. Then...writing E-mails became a norm for me and dashing off fast replies to numerous sisters:) I typed my name once and hitting the keys quickly, I came up with Debi...and I liked it. So now, Ya'll can call me Debi :)

Oh and I got a job yesterday :) You're reading the blog of the newest recepionist at the Chamber of Commerce! Mom helped me get my resume together last week, I submited it on Thursday and I was hired on Tuesday. I think I will like my job. I'll be answering phones, oraganizing broucheres, and directing people around P------...I think I might need Rebecca to teach me some pointers on the last one :)

So here I am.....back home again..listening to Governor Palin's speech to the RNC....

so I'll just mindlessly sit here and fill out this fun quiz :)

Can you successfully blow up and tie a balloon?
You betcha!!

What was your last purchase?
Bobby pins for a wedding and contact solution for a sister

Does anyone like you?
I leave that for history to decide.....

Have you made anyone laugh while they were crying lately?
No one that I can think of lately....I can do it with Sarah...oh Chloe...I did it with Chloe over the weekend

Are you easily amused?
Tell me a joke and I'll see...

Do you sleep on your side, stomach, or back?
All of them.....

Have you ever liked somebody and never told them?
Who hasn't?

What did you do Saturday?
Cleaned house, talked with was a fun day.

Do you trust all of your friends?
I have a small circle of trusty friends...

Morning or night person?
At the Moment, I'm more of a night person...but I enjoy early morning

Are you taller than 5'5''?
I think I'm right on the dot with that one..right Shan?

Would you rather have love or money?
Love with Money wouldn't be a bad thing....Amy March anyone??

Do you have a best friend that knows you inside and out?

Last person you watched movies with?
Dad, Mom, Sue, Lyds, and Joe... the last Foyle's War :(

Do you hide your emotions?
Who doesn't?

Do you prefer to take showers at night or in the morning?
Afternoon actually is what I prefer.

If you could either float on the moon, or snorkel in the ocean, which?
Snorkel!!! Think of all the pretty coral down there!!!

Do you think you'll be married in 5 years?
I can dream can't I?
I'm a realist and an incurable romantic all rolled into one :p

Third text in your inbox? from who?
three years ago from Lissa Lux :)

Have you been to New York City?
I've seen it from across the water...."Hello Ben. Welcome to New Jersey"

Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
Ummmm....Dad I think or a friend of Aunt Alice I can't remember for sure......

Do you need to say anything to anyone?
"I love you, Mommy." :) You can never tell her enough times.....

What were you doing at 7am?
Sleep.....sweet sleep

What do you think of your number 3 on your top friends?
I love everybody equally!!!!!!

Can you legally drink?
Not yet:) I'm a dino...but Not "over age."

When is the last time you saw your mom?
Five seconds ago when she went to bed...she gave me a kiss :)

Do you prefer shoes, socks, or bare feet?
Bare feet all the way!!!

Have you ever been in an ambulance? a fire safety day

Do you hold grudges?
I ain't People!

Do you sing obnoxiously in the car?
I think I sing obnoxiously EVERYWHERE....

When was the last time you had butterflies in your stomach?
When I had to turn my resume in...

Are you watching TV?
Yeah...Fox News' analysis of Palin's speech and now I'm going to bed!!!!